Autism and COVID-19

Not one of us has ever lived through a time like this. It's tough on parents, on grandparents, on spouses, on kids. And perhaps most unnerving, we don't know when it will end. When can we do what we used to? Will things ever be the same?

Now suppose your child has autism. He loves his routines. He longs to go to his regular haunts. And he simply can't understand why he can't go see his grandparents. What can we parents do to make the best of this assuredly bad situation?

This is the animating question for my family, and some parts of the answer are easier to find than others. Here's what we're telling ourselves:

First, let's give ourselves a break! If our son has a bit more screen time than the ideal, if his schoolwork has slowed down, if he's perseverating a little more than the norm, it's ok. These are not life-changing consequences.

Second, there's a temptation to feel compelled to transform ourselves into home-schooling warriors. That's fine, if it makes sense for the family. For ours, it doesn't. If we were to set goals for ourselves as parents that are unrealistic, we would virtually ensure failure. Let's find our victories where we can, let's appreciate what we can do incrementally, and, again, let's give ourselves a break.

Third, we all need to understand that when the walls feel like they are closing in, there's help out there. If your family is involved with a BCBA, take advantage of that. There are so many ways that a talented professional can help shape the arc of a family's life, even if the process might look different than it would ordinarily.

Finally, we must remember that we don't have to become superheroes. We already are superheroes! As the parents of children with autism, we all have done innumerable things that our friends simply cannot imagine. We don't have to be perfect, as we already are pretty darn amazing.

So, I say to you, just as we say to ourselves--hang in there, better days are coming!